I am Impatient

It has been a long pregnancy.  Being impatient is what is making it so long.  It isn't the "morning" sickness that gets me, or the heartburn, or the sciatic nerve that has started to be bothersome (at least I think that's what it is), it is the huge waiting period of 9 months.  The moment I found out that we were pregnant I suddenly felt like a 5 year old waiting for Christmas to come.  It happens every time.  Although I guess I can't totally compare it to Christmas because along with the excited and happy feelings there are a lot of other feelings such as worry, fear, and even solitude.  Pregnancy brings on a whole bunch or emotions wrapped up in its own unique package.  Having a miscarriage before Kinnie helped me to not take the whole process for granted but it sure has made me more anxious about it all.  I won't feel completely reassured until the day she is here.  Lately I have been feeling complete gratitude towards my Heavenly Father.  Sometimes when I feel the baby kick I am overwhelmed that Landon and I have been entrusted to raise these children.  And I ask myself "can it be"?  Do we really get another one to have and raise and care for and teach?  I can't wait to meet her and look forward to the day she comes.  And until that day comes, I hope I can remember how amazing and wonderful, and important of a process it is.  It would be impossible for me to not worry about the baby's growth and development but for now I will take her kicks and strong movements as a reassurance that everything is fine and trust in Heavenly Father and his plan for us.  Now if I could just be a little bit more patient, May 9th is so far away.